[Brian Allgar]

Here's the current WP competition. At first, I wasn't interested. But on second thoughts ...

As always with our perennial Join Now neologism contests, Week 976 provided lots of funny combinations of parts of words to make new ones, as you’ll see from this week’s results. And also as always, the Empress received dozens of entries in which the new word was nifty but the accompanying definition a bit niftless. This week we’re going to do a little crowdsourcing: Supply a humorous definition for any of these promising Loser-penned neologisms. You may add a hyphen if you like, wherever you like. Keep in mind that because we’re working from only a few dozen words, many entries are sure to have the same general idea. So the ink will flow to the best-written ones; using the word in a funny sentence might help (using the word in an unfunny sentence will not).

E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 23; results published Aug. 12 (online Aug. 10). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 980” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry.

Lafado • Polikin • Beerate • Briswards • Egotor • Manese • Funassiere • Laffast • Medpics • Nixotica • Butthoven • Irritaparent • Punative • Flattivist • Humsic • Hypire • Underuck • Egofast • Hyphoon • Wecation • Mentra • Egoperate • Egojunctions • Harpoonerisms • Ignorent • Polititithing • Diffecation • Prevolving • Neonated • biPod • Frankenfriendly • Punfail • Losery • Incache • Twithy • Beemen • Genew

[Brian Allgar]

And here are my own "second thoughts". Some of them are certainly destined for the "unprintable" corner, if not oblivion.

Losery - a special loo designed for Washington Post Losers. “Where’s Bob Schechter?” “He’s in the Losery with a bad attack of verbal diarrhoea.”

Harpoonerisms - a speech impediment that causes people to shoot themselves in the foot by inverting consonants in the manner of Dr Spooner. “I think I’ll order the Fried Duck - I just hope my stupid tongue doesn’t make another harpoonerism.”

Funassiere - an amusing undergarment to replace knickers. “What I really like about her funassiere is that there is a wired cup for each buttock, so it gives great cleavage.”

Hyphoon - a particularly long-winded advertisement break in a TV programme. “Oh no! Another Sarah Palin hyphoon right in the middle of NCIS!”

Polikin - a term of abuse or contempt, esp. in Southern United States. Etymology: a corruption of “po-licking”, referring to the custom of dogs to investigate the excrement of other dogs. Example: “Where’s that goshdarned milkdrinkin no-good polikin nephew of mine got to?”

Twithy - a word invented by Lewis Carroll, thought to be a combination of “twisty” and “lithe”. The original first line of “Jabberwocky” was: “ ’Twas brillig, and the twithy sloves”. In the published version this became: “ ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves”.

Manese - a subset of the English language used exclusively by men. “My sister is a beautiful woman, but in Manese she becomes a hot chick.”

Punfail - the reason why a Washington Post Loser really loses.

Nixotica - memorabilia from the time of Watergate. “Have you seen my collection of Nixotica? I’ve even got the tape where Nixon says ‘fuck’.”