[John Whitworth]

No. 2780: fabulous

You are invited to write, in the spirit of Aesop or La Fontaine, a rhymed fable involving animals (16 lines maximum). Please email entries, wherever possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 9 January.

I think this has appeared before. Anyone know if it has?

[Ed Shacklee]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

No. 2780: fabulous

You are invited to write, in the spirit of Aesop or La Fontaine, a rhymed fable involving animals (16 lines maximum). Please email entries, wherever possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 9 January.

I think this has appeared before. Anyone know if it has?

John & Jayne,

Pardon my ignorance, but I've always wanted to know: is there a standard form for such email entries? What would the normal heading be, for example: No. 2780? Should there be a cover letter and a bio as well, or just the poem and contact info, or does the email itself provide all the contact info the editor needs and/or wants? Are there different entry formats used for the different competitions often posted in Drills & Amusements?

I just subscribed to The Oldie, by the way, having seen it mentioned here so much. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on it.

Best,

Ed

[John Whitworth]

I send in my entry by email including the number of the competition and its title as the title of the email. Then, in the body of the email, I give my full name and address. Then the entry. That's all. No cover letter. Nothing else. If you are using a nom de plume, you can include that after the entry. But the name and address should be yours. Otherwise where should they send the winning cheque?

[Ed Shacklee]

Thanks, John. I think I'll give it a shot, then.

Best,

Ed

[FOsen]

An elephant was rushing off to lunch,
a bunch of plantains cradled in his trunk.
Mid-river, though, he’d dropped them and they’d sunk.

He stamped the bottom; in a rage he splashed
and thrashed the surface, till it yellowed
and swirled and clouded as he loudly bellowed.

He paused and glared, for from a nearby tree,
two three-toed sloths were droning, Hey, just . . wait.
Sloths—their name proclaims their only trait!

He blared them into silence, then he frowned
and found he’d also scared the water still.
He spied the plantains; with a selfish thrill

he nudged them to the surface, then charged off,
not judging three-toed sloths were worth a quarrel.

A slack voice, though, called, after he’d barged off,
Come back . . you never even gave . . the moral.

Frank

[Roger Slater]

COMMON ENEMY

A horse and duck were arguing one day:
Which is better, saying quack or neigh?
The horse maintained that neighing had more class,
That quacking sounded much too much like brass,
A brittle trumpet or a tin kazoo.
The duck responded that this may be true
But if you want to hear a sound that's tinny
The prime example is a horse's whinny.
But then an owl of wisdom and repute
Descended from a tree and said "The hoot
Exceeds the neigh or quack in sound and tone
And occupies an honored place alone
Among the languages that creatures speak."
The horse, offended, kicked him in the beak.
The owl was dead. The duck said, "Horse, well played!"
The horse then quacked. The duck, for his part, neighed.