[Brian Allgar]

Former Italian PM Berlusconi sentenced to seven years in jail and banned from politics for life after being found guilty of paying underage teenager for sex

I hereby declare the season open:

Ageing satyr Berlusconi
Should have stuck to tortelloni
(Adult tarts, no longer teeny ) -
His mistake was tortellini.

[John Whitworth]

Well, seven years isn't as much as Mandela got, but on the other hand lots more than Chris Huhne got. He could write his memoirs.

[Chris O'Carroll]

Off to jail with Berlusconi.
Ministering to his bone, he
Liked a babe not quite full-grown. He
Didn't think, but should have known he
Could do time for bunga bunga
With a tootsie that much younger.

[Gregory Dowling]

Except that he won't spend a single day in jail. This is just the first sentence; it will have to go to appeal and then to cassation - and his lawyers will ensure that everything gets dragged out to infinity and beyond. And in any case, people aged over 70 usually get house-arrest in Italy; this ruling was passed when his business crony and lawyer, Cesare Previti, finally got sentenced to six years for bribery and corruption (guess on whose behalf) in 2006; so he did his time in his luxury apartment in Piazza Farnese.

Much as I'd like to picture B wearing a prison uniform and breaking rocks with a pick-axe, I'll try and make do with the thought that at this point it is at least unlikely he will be prime minister again (or president of the republic).

[John Whitworth]

It does appear that the USA is the only country in the western world where the bad guys actually do proper time in durance vile. Why, they even put some bankers there. Fat chance of any European country following suit.

[Brian Allgar]

Chris, with a bit of beefing-up (who says size doesn't count?), that would be a good one for the 'Ingenious rhymes' comp.

Later: Needless to say, I couldn't resist tinkering with it myself. By putting my piece and yours together and adding a few lines, the result is a daft sonnet that would have Petrarch turning in his grave. (The problem is that my piece has two -ini lines, whereas all the rest are -oni until the final couplet. Oh, well, nobody's perfect.)

Ageing satyr Berlusconi
Should have stuck to tortelloni
(Adult tarts, no longer teeny ) -
His mistake was tortellini.
Now he’s in the minestrone,
Swearing that it’s all baloney
And the proof entirely phoney.
But the judge’s view is stony:
“Off to jail with Berlusconi!”
Ministering to his bone, he
Liked a babe not quite full-grown. He
Didn't think, but should have known he
Could do time for bunga bunga
With a tootsie that much younger.

[Marcus Sevat]

I feel sad for Berlusconi
From the land of macaroni,
Clever guy and not a tony,
Sprightly as a spring-time pony.
Tough and gruff and never phoney.
One can pardon his errone-
Ous behaviour with a coney.
If your hearts are not too stony
Shed a tear for Berlusconi.

[Brian Allgar]

Just had him on the telephone - he
Blames it on his vicious crony.

[Mary McLean]

He needs a stricter chaperone, he
has too much testosterone, he
bunga-bunged a bunch, feloni-
ous convicted Berlusconi.

[John Whitworth]

What a cause for high spirits the fellow is!