[Jayne Osborn]

We like the bouts-rimés comps, don't we? The words come from this Wendy Cope sonnet:

The expense of spirits is a crying shame,
So is the cost of wine. What bard today
Can live like old Khayyam? It's not the same---
A loaf and thou and Tesco's Beaujolais.
I had this bird called Sharon, fond of gin---
Could knock back six or seven. At the price
I paid a high wage for each hour of sin
And that was why I only had her twice.
Then there was Tracy, who drank rum and coke,
So beautiful I didn't mind at first.
But love grows colder. Now some other bloke
Is subsidizing Tracy and her thirst.
I need a woman, honest and sincere,
Who'll come across on half a pint of beer.

...so all we have to do now is find umpteen different takes on those words, right?

Jayne

The Oldie Competition
by Tessa Castro

Competition no 194
It’s time for the ever-popular game of old bouts-rimés. A poem of 14 lines, please, using as rhymes these words in this order:
shame, today, same, Beaujolais, gin, twice, sin, price, Coke, first, bloke, thirst, sincere, beer.

Entries, by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman St, London W1T 3EG) or email comps@theoldie.co.uk to ‘Competition no 194’ by 18th Sept. Don’t forget to include your postal address.