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  #1  
Unread 04-04-2021, 04:04 PM
Bill Dyes Bill Dyes is offline
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Default Weltanschauung

Weltanschauung


Your system fails to account for the moon,
how tonight the sleep of reason sharpens
from sphere to scythe, its crystal blade burning
right through you, “Go to her. Be with her now."
The momentum of your mind, over-ruled,
you enter her room not understanding
you are about to be re-created.
This is where you learn and relearn her bed
is not the pillowed grave of compulsion.
It is that perfect pause along her skin
where logic’s final button is undone.
Sweating for meaning in naked moonlight.
A writhing argument of what came first.
An object coiled around a concept.

Last edited by Bill Dyes; 04-12-2021 at 07:42 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 04-04-2021, 06:22 PM
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Andrew Mandelbaum Andrew Mandelbaum is offline
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Hey Bill.
I am not gonna pretend I think I totally get this, but the language and images play well together and in the end I am into this enough to be ok with my own associations even if I might miss some of yours. I think that is a good thing. Definitely believe in the poet's voice enough here to feel the genuine power of it. In my reading I see the final line as more accurate with the word subject in place of the word object but that might show that I am in my own world with this. In any case, strong writing. I would italicize rather than use quote marks but that is just me.
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  #3  
Unread 04-05-2021, 03:22 PM
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RCL RCL is offline
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Wow, this is the most erotic poem I've read in decades! You're spot on the button with this one.
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Ralph
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  #4  
Unread 04-07-2021, 07:15 AM
John Riley John Riley is offline
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What I think I like best about this is the unabashed emotion in it. It's courageous in a way to unroll out such deep feeling and conceptualization of the moment.

Quote:
This is where you learn and relearn her bed
is not the pillowed grave of compulsion.
This is wisdom that only comes with time and it's moving that this isn't hidden. There may be more memory here than the present and that is said without being said. It has the feel of a lesson learned when it's too late to use it and regardless if that is factually accurate it is here in the poem I think. I really like this one. It's erotic because it doesn't linger on silly eroticism. A poem to be proud of having written.
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  #5  
Unread 04-07-2021, 10:20 AM
Bill Dyes Bill Dyes is offline
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Andrew

"Weltanschauung" is a bit of a loaded term, I think, often misused
and some might argue that it is being misused here.
What I wanted was it's meaning of not just being a 'world view" but a 'comprehensive' one.
If it's inaccurate as you say 'object' in the last line may also be I want it to be part of this man's rather profound conceit.
I am not a philosophy major but a dabbler and this man may also possesss that same level of misunderstanding.

RCL: (sorry I've forgotten how I should address you)

I had no intention of moving this piece to extreme eroticism
but all the time wanted to see if eroticism could also be made devastating at the same time.

John;

Thanks John. This is one I revised often. Your appreciation of this piece makes be feel that it is where I want it to be.

Thanks to all of you.

I was hoping a woman might come to comment. Maybe a little wary of it in fact.

Bill
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  #6  
Unread 04-07-2021, 10:46 AM
Bill Dyes Bill Dyes is offline
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RCL:

Of course you're Ralph. It's right there in your comment. So sorry, forgive me.

Bill
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  #7  
Unread 04-07-2021, 11:16 AM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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Sorry, I particularly dislike "the pillowed grave of compulsion", also not clear about the title. Did you spend time in Germany, perhaps in the US armed forces?

Last edited by Allen Tice; 04-08-2021 at 09:46 AM. Reason: typo
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Unread 04-07-2021, 11:43 AM
Mark McDonnell Mark McDonnell is offline
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Hey Bill,

This reads like a portrait of someone slowly sliding away from the rational and toward something more primal, played out in the scenario of a sexual encounter. The "system" is no match for the power of the moon, the "mind" is "over-ruled" and "logic" is "undone". I love the first sentence. A fast-forward image of the waning moon "from sphere to scythe" to "blade". And in the idea that the "sleep of reason" is producing this phenomenon lies the hint (from the famous Goya painting) that it is something monstrous. But attractive. I'm sure I remember an earlier version of this, though I don't know what's changed. The last line brought it back.

I like it. It has a slow, deliberate intensity. I don't quite get it all but that doesn't seem to matter and that's always the key. Whether "getting it all" seems to matter.
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Unread 04-07-2021, 11:50 PM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Dyes View Post
I was hoping a woman might come to comment. Maybe a little wary of it in fact.
I'm asexual, so my perspective isn't most women's. But I like this a lot. It captures the mystery of my husband's sex drive, which seems to baffle him as much as it does me sometimes. In 28 years, I don't think he's been able to answer the question "Why?" even once. (Where sex is concerned, anyway. He can explain lots of other stuff about the universe.)

There are a number of things in this poem that remind me vaguely of the story of Adam and Eve, especially the faint outlines of a snake in the final two lines. But that might be just my imagination.

Last edited by Julie Steiner; 04-07-2021 at 11:52 PM.
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  #10  
Unread 04-08-2021, 08:54 AM
Bill Dyes Bill Dyes is offline
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Allen:

"Weltanschauung" is a word, I suspect, that can be found in most unabridged English dictionaries.
I believe it was first used in German philosophy but has expanded beyond that specialization in English.
In the German I think it translates literally as "world view".
Your declaration as to your personal dislike of "the pillowed grave of compulsion" has been noted.
Thanks for your reading and commentary.

Mark:

Your reading and explanation demonstrate that you are getting the main thrust of this piece.
And you are right I have posted this piece before. Thanks for your analysis. It adds to this piece.

Julie:

I ,myself, often wonder about my seeming lack of an urge toward community, I mean one that extends beyond my wife and daughter.

I suppose there are systems of thought that attempt to encompass all urges; sexual, murderous and all others or their lack.

The woman in this poem does seem to have an Eve-like quality but it is certainly a one-dimensional view of her.
And it is no fairer to her than the Bible is.

I too don't have a full assessment of what is going on in this piece. I thank you for reading and commenting.

Bill
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