[Holly Martins]

A revival of Oliver! in the West-End and a long cold winter during which I've stuffed myself rotten with sweets and snacks has inspired a snacky poem. Perhaps some of you have more sophisticated tastes in food which you could write a poem about?


CRISPS*

The Smiths Potato Crisps my gran gave me
were always stale: pale curled potato slices
never firm but soft and malleable,
the blue wrapped twist of salt, a solid round
shot needing to be crushed to sprinkle over
chewy crisps. The oxymoron did
not trouble me, it was another part
of life’s strange puzzle to be marvelled at.

And neither did it cross my mind to ask
why granny’s crisps were always soft and stale,
it never dawned on me that grandma did
not buy the crisps to eat the things herself.
If I’d have been a brighter, nicer boy
I might have realised the crisps were bought
for me and that my trips to gran’s were too
infrequent for them ever to stay fresh.



*I think in the US these are called Potato Chips.

[Rick Mullin]

Sunday Adoration

Hail thee, Wife!, O delicate, birdlike creature,
rare in form, unique in divine resplendence,
long the beaming object of my devotion,
long in the kitchen,

gnawing on a doughy suburban bagel
baked the size and shape of a regulation
softball schmeared with cream cheese and lox, engaging
Goddess of Caldwell.


(Holly: Yes, we do call them chips, which, I be believe, is what you call our French fries).

[Maryann Corbett]

Would Sam grace us with a posting of "Fried Beauty"? Pretty please...??? Or maybe we could find it and link to it?

[Michael Cantor]

And Stephen Scaer has one or two winners - one is a ballade, I think - celebrating the glories of barbeque, sugar, flour and gluttony.

But I could swear we've been served this course before. I can renmber digging out all my foodie poems a year or two ago. Will check.

Edited in - well, it was more like five or six years ago (although I could swear we went back for seconds more recently, but can't find the thread on a quick "food" search.) But have a taste of this one:

http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showth...highlight=Food

[Maryann Corbett]

I'll bet we have done it before, Michael; it's a deathless topic!

Here's Sam's:

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/arch...html?id=181668

[Orwn Acra]

Michael, I think you're thinking of the grocery shopping thread we had a few months ago. It was the best thread we've ever had.

[RCL]

Here's one of mine that recently appeared in the Raven Chronicles (vol. 13, No. 2):

That Grind We’re In

It’s burgers from the Stop-n-Munch.
It’s lunch,
the perfect form of tougher steaks
that makes—
for those who love beef ground—
the world grind round.
Those who praise it always sound
like hungry lovers having fun
as they enjoy a meat-filled bun.
It’s lunch that makes the world grind round.

Chow down!
Ralph

[Martin Elster]

Here's one I wrote about five years ago. How time flies when you're having fun!

PERHAPS

There’s something I think you should really rethink:
Your all-American food and drink.

French fries, Coca-Cola, banana split —
Are you getting from those any benefit?

Hot dog, ice cream, apple pie —
If you don’t eat those will you die?

By sucking on those white Life Savers,
Do you think you are doing yourself any favors?

Velveeta, Kool-Aid, popcorn, Jell-O —
When noshing on them do you get all mellow?

Those hamburgers, potato chips
Have caused much thickness in your hips.

Those Dagwood sandwiches, bacon and eggs
Have made your legs resemble kegs.

Coffee, Cracker Jacks, M&M’s
Have increased your ticker’s rpm’s.

Milk and all that processed cheese —
I bet that stuff’s what’s making you sneeze!

Turkey, Skippy, TV dinner —
Scarfing those down have not made you thinner.

Grape-nuts, Wheaties, corn flakes, Total —
Do those “health foods” make you want to yodel?

I’ll tell you what I think, OK?
Please don’t get mad at what I say!

If you live for a year on water and air,
Perhaps you’ll be able to climb one stair!

Martin Elster

[R. S. Gwynn]

In that penultimate line I've decided belatedly to transfer the eptithet so that it reads:

These greasy bounties of my battered South.

[John Whitworth]

Do you know I thought I'd posted something but it didn't take. I was moaning about the ghastly things you Americans EAT (bagels, hot dogs, hamburgers -though I believe American ones are much better than the things we are given here) but that was before I googled Sam's poem.I'd like a bit of THAT and no mistake. I was also trying to get Burns's 'To a Haggis' from the web, but it proved recalcitrant. Never mind. You can google it. A haggis is well worth eating by the way. In Scotland they have them deep fried (but in Scotland they have everything deep fried, including Mars Bars) from chippies, that's chip shops that sell what you call, for some unknown reason french fries. The french of course saute their potatoes or produce the kingly dauphinoise, and if you haven't eaten potatoes done that way, then you should immediately. Meanwhile, my hymn to kiddyfood.

Get Yer Lunch Here!

(An Action Poem)

If you want a sweet
Stamp your feet.
If you want an egg
Shake your leg.
If you want a pie
Blink your eye.
If you want a pear
Brush your hair.
If you want a plum
Bite your thumb
And wiggle your bum
Till kingdom come.

If you want some chips
Lick your lips.
If you want some cheese
Suck your knees.
If you want some jelly
Rub your belly.
If you want some cake
Jump in the lake.
f you want some bread
Go to bed
Then stand on your head
And drop dead.