[Turner Cassity]

The Switches


We felled the rotting tree before the rains
Because we feared it might crash through a wall
But though the stub is all that since remains,
Neither our home nor we were spared a fall
Of less corporeal timber all around:
The fast collapse of structures at their roots
That’s brought uncounted households to the ground.

I’ve come to clear our stump, and see that shoots
Have made a thin and ill-considered stand
In such a manner, I could think that we—
Hit by a blow for which we hadn’t planned
And severed from a vast, old certainty—

Like these few switches in a rough-cut cleft,
May yet go on to grow from what we’ve left.


Comments:

Is this a tornado or an earthquake? “Corporeal” is technically correct, but is so Latinate that it stands out in the context of the rest of the poem.

[Catherine Chandler]

The Switches

The word “switches” is a wonderful choice. The poet ostensibly refers to the slender growth of shoots from an old stump, but of course the word also means a turning, a shifting, a change in direction; and from the context of the poem, N. alludes to another meaning as well – the whipping or beating effect of the event that caused the collapse of his safe, sure world, his “vast, old certainty.”

The deep-rooted (pardon the pun) symbolism of the tree is an overwhelmingly obvious but well-sustained metaphor, where protection, stability and security have been lost, first through rotting and then felling. I particularly admired the masterly use of the word “cleft”, whose derivation from the word “cleave” can mean both splitting or remaining faithful. As well, the last three words have a double meaning. A multi-layered, well-crafted sonnet.

[A. E. Stallings]

This is indeed well-crafted, and the title is doing good work. Not sure the metaphorical nature of things needs to be so spelled out in "less corporeal". And this feels overly Frost-y to me, which is, admittedly, a pretty common complaint I have about sonnets on these boards. But enjoyed nonetheless.

[Tim Murphy]

It is pretty Frost-y, but ain't that a virtue here, Aliki? I too dislike the off-key, sudden appearance of corporeal. But I sure like this rompin, stompin sonnet.

[A. E. Stallings]

I love Frost himself, of course, but sometimes feel he's an overpowerful influence in these parts. I am willing to believe however that is just a personal bias of mine!

[Kevin Cutrer]

I find much to like in this one, but I agree that it is too Frosty. Nothing wrong with learning everything we can from Frost, but when you hear the influence too well it comes off as imitation, and subtracts from the poem, in my opinion.

My favorite line: "And severed from a vast, old certainty." Being preceded by lines that end on strong syllables, the sonics of this line seem to mimic the severance of certainty described (I admit I may be reading too much into this).

I agree that "corporeal" is not quite right. And I love the play on the word "switch" that Catherine has pointed out. The use of these for corporeal punishment in the south is a stinging memory for me.

[Tim Murphy]

"But spare those suckers sprouting from the roots,"
she cautioned as I felled her stricken tree...

The truth is, I write a lot about felling trees, and I am not Frosty but Yeatsy. "We grieve for the twelve trees we lost last night, old friends and confidants..." I have fought that all my life. Crawford, Chipman, Todd? THEY are Frosty, but I don't hear it here.

Yes, the vast certainty line is very good. I respect this poem.

[Janet Kenny]

I like this poem but to my ear it is much stiffer than anything Frost ever wrote. I also am not quite comfortable with the stress on "might" in L2.

This poem is dignified but the diction is just a touch pompous. I like it despite this. It is honest and well made. The metaphor is powerful and affecting.
Janet

[David Rosenthal]

Another well-wrought piece. I think the conceit is so strong, though, that it breaks my heart to have it spelled out so directly in the last five lines. I think the reader would have gottten it without "I could think that we" to point the way.

David R.

[Shaun J. Russell]

I echo Janet's comments that this seems quite stiff...and I also detect a lot of padding. Lines like "Hit by a blow for which we hadn't planned" and "But though the stub is all that since remains" are a bit too cumbersome for their own good. Were it not necessary to have ten syllable lines, they could have been reduced to "Hit by an unplanned blow" and "But though the stub is all that remains" respectively. Even "Neither our home or we were spared a fall" sounds very awkward to my poetic ear. I can't imagine someone speaking like this.

Ultimately, this poem takes much too long to say what it is trying to say. It could be pruned to an octet without losing its meaning, although even then I think the writer would have to find a better way to word what he or she is trying to get across. At the root of it, there is the seed of a good poem, but I think it needs quite a bit of work before it gets there.

As a side note, I couldn't agree more with Alicia regarding the pervasive "Frostiness" around Eratosphere. I've had that same impression for as long as I've been on the board.