[Matt Q]

Hi Max,

I think the switch to present tense in the revision has worked well. It makes the poem feel more immediate, and I get more of a sense of the action unfolding as I read, the future as yet unknown. I also find the more equivocal close a lot more effective. I'm asked to wonder rather than being told the answer. And "just a blip" is fresher than "for a second".

I like how I didn't see the ending coming (appropriate, in this context!), and how when it does it draws the poem together, and leaves me to ponder. There are some nice touches too. I like the line-break on "left the road" and the double read it brings out. Also the regret "before-and-aftering", which is very much what regret does.

I don't know that I have any major suggestions or nits. So here are some smaller ones.

I'd write "Pop!" or "pop!". Even if you don't want the exclamation mark, italics are conventional, I think, to show that it's a sound. Kind of like reported speech, I guess. It did give me pause on first reading, though I didn't quite go as far as reading it as "Dad".

However, I don't really imagine the sound of a car hitting something that could conceivably be a boulder as a "pop". More of a crunch maybe, or a thud.

I can see how a person who'd lost concentration and crashed a car would be considered unreliable. But selfish doesn't make as much sense to me. Foolish, maybe. Irresponsible (though that's a lot of syllables -- feckless, maybe?). Or is the idea they are considered selfish because they were tipsy, and drinking when over the limit is selfish because of the damage you could do to others. Though the poem is inconclusive on the drinking. It's just a maybe.

A very small thing, and more of a question really. Does "ears' range" take a possessive apostrophe? It seemed odd to me. I googled, but couldn't find a definitive answer. Though I did see that people who use one are very much in the minority.

EDIT: Just coming back to add that the poem's title doesn't do that much for me.

best,

Matt