[Carol Taylor]

I had trouble with "these men," couldn't place them until I realized they are probably bloodless poets or intellectuals.

Carol

[Michael Cantor]

Well done, except for the bumpy last line - which really has to be fixed. I'm almost certain I know who wrote it and, despite the skill, the ending didn't work well for me - too expected, the poet steps in too intrusively - and yes, I realize that's the point of it all, but someone has too stick up for cold men who frame themselves in cold windows.

(Re David Mason's comments below, I slept on this one, decided I was being too broad and making too many assumptions in my approach and initial reaction, and rewrote it - not directly in response to David, but it makes David's comment seem slightly misdirected. Apologies, David.)

[David Mason]

Friends,
I took an interest in this poem right away because of its wit, whatever the merits of the last line. I thought it was wonderfully fierce in its turning. I've also noticed that in this Bake-off there is a wee game being played of "guess the author" and letting judgments be based upon such speculations, which don't seem to be all that fair in the broader scope of things. I'd like to suggest that we stick to the merits of the poem at hand in each of the cases in this Bake-off and not resort to ad hominem or feminem (sp?) commentary.

Best,
Dave

[John Beaton]

This one has an arresting concept and grabs attention right from the title.

The development is strong with a great, self-descriptive turn at L10.

I particularly like “who run from love and moan it flees from me” and “Move from the window, mate”.

The ending is striking and I don’t have a big problem with the extra syllable in the last line. It works well enough with a pause after “off”, and this one isn’t strictly rhymed and metered.

However, I’m not sure about the way the ending ties in with what goes before. In the penultimate line, I understand that “cop it sweet” is Australian slang for “to make the best of a bad situation”, usually applied to someone who isn’t accepting it well. So the ending seems to say “stop acting like a jerk or you won’t have a woman (i.e. me) to romanticize”. But, earlier, N has accused “these men” of ridiculing her, not of attempting to woo her.

John