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11-12-2015, 10:08 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 10,408
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Cathy, you are supposed to use the literal translation as a guide to what the German says. That is what I do for the translations from languages I don't read. It is the only way we can have these kinds of bake-offs, since no one can be expected to read all languages fluently.
Susan
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11-12-2015, 10:11 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Canada and Uruguay
Posts: 5,874
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Susan, I know that's the concept, but . . . at least most of these are from French originals  .
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11-13-2015, 12:04 AM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NY, USA
Posts: 4,607
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I like this a great deal--the DG's complaint about the anaphora is partly mitigated by the music, where the melody supplies the repetition.
Again, kudos to the Yodeler!
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11-16-2015, 02:33 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Cambridge UK
Posts: 1,224
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I like the first stanza enormously. My interest tails off a bit after that, but I think that is Brecht's fault rather than the translator's. Seems like a good solid job to me.
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11-18-2015, 04:58 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,502
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Excellent! It's great fun, and (with one or two minor exceptions) the translation fits the music almost perfectly, down to the little clusters of fast notes. I was sorry that the two fast notes at the start of the final line of each verse weren't retained, but I could only listen to the Ernst Busch version, and perhaps they are not in the one by Teresa Stratas.
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11-19-2015, 11:22 AM
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New Member
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Lexington, KY, USA
Posts: 13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by R. S. Gwynn
A man lives by his wits
but they do not suffice.
but they just won't suffice (for a more relaxed tone)
The only word choice is question is "pretentious," which doesn't fit with the other words in the translation.
Very nice.
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Sam Gwynn, Thanks for the pointers; I agree about "pretentious," and I've changed it to "man's too undemanding..." (with a little echo of "man" that seems OK to me). I didn't change "but they do not suffice," partly to avoid repeating "just," and also because I think the song has a schoolteacherish tone for which the primness of "they do not suffice" works.
Thanks Again!
--Diane
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