[Petra Norr]

I almost missed the wonderful pun at the end. The first time I read the sonnet, I confess I felt a tinge of disappointment. The poem had such a good premise that I felt slightly let down by the things chosen to tell the dead; I guess I was looking for more creative and interesting details than, “The human race is not improvable”, “Our leaders shuffle bribes”, etc. And in contrast to what others said about the lack of sentimentality, I felt the closing couplet was sentimental. But then I got the pun! It made the poem for me.

[R. Nemo Hill]

Geez, I missed that too, duhh.
My assessment of the poem has risen accordingly.
I wonder if a slight emphasis by way of a meter irregularity could call a bit more attention to it--?

But one way or another, oh, I'll be here.

Nemo

[Rose Kelleher]

Heh. I remember this one. I love "my dead."

Suggestion: "How's it going" would sound more conversational.

[John Beaton]

I like this one too. "I know I said the same last year" ties in well with the close and "Ask any saint you meet" adds to the voice introduced with "my dead".

I agree that L7 and 8 create a bit of a flat spot in the middle but, overall, it's very good--a terse and sardonic reflection on world-weariness.

John

[Wendy Sloan]

Oh, yes, the pun at the end makes the poem ... perfect.
Perfect graveside manner!

[Rhina P. Espaillat]

Not sentimental at all, but not ashamed to convey genuine feeling, which is a very different matter. I love the "my dead," with its hint of affection that endures--but accepts--the final separation. And I find the talk of war and current events realistic and believable: how else do we keep up with our loved ones if not sharing gossip, including the world's gossip?

[Alex Pepple]

What I find appealing about this sonnet, besides its premise and the mock sermonizing, is how deftly it achieves an everyday conversational tone while maintaining a seamless meter, without any strain in the language. The few metrical substitutions seem intended to match the context, for instance "Your children haven’t turned out awfully well." And, though plainspoken, there is a liveliness to the language, partly from unusual twists of the usual stock phrases for instance, "I’m always glad I came" and partly from the touch of wry humor here and there as in L2, "How is it going under there, my dead?" Well done!

Cheers,
...Alex

[Michael Cantor]

Spare and dry and well done. I wish there were fewer end-stopped lines, and that the L3/L4 enjambment were more artful, but it could probably be argued that all of the end-stopped lines contribute to the spare tone and conversational feel. The end-stopping is not a show stopper for me - I applaud the poem - but I think there's too much of it.

[A. E. Stallings]

My favorite of the first four. Rather Hardy-esque (a lot of Hardy poems spoken over headstones...), though without Hardy's verbal texture. I think it could be tweaked on the level of diction for a few more verbal riches (such as "my dead") in spite of the flatness, but it would certainly be a serious Nemerov contender as is.

[FOsen]

I have nothing to add to those who've expressed their affinity for this - the "my dead" is wonderfully wry and affectionate. When I read this in order with the others, I thought atsa sonnet.

Frank