[Janet Kenny]

Martin that's brilliant.

[Janet Kenny]

l’enfer c’est un beau traffic jam.
or pantalons which fall or tear
exhibiting your derrière
as you ascend into a tram.

Cuisine Anglaise is hell for those
whose palates, cultivated young,
are used to manging quelque chose
avec more esprit on the tongue.

L’enfer is when a pet explodes
and no one knows whose pet has sung.
Hell’s when a camion unloads,
outside your maison, tonnes of dung.

L’enfer is when, before you die
your children say you won a prize
worth millions, zut alors! you cry,
and curse them as you close your eyes.

[John Whitworth]

Janet, that is brilliant. Do you know about the late Miles Kington, the populariser of franglais?

[Janet Kenny]

Thanks John ;-)
I think I read something many years ago. Now that you've named him I'll Google. Thanks for that. Franglais is second only to Italiese.

[Petra Norr]

.
L’enfer c’est, almost all the time,
unlike the heat of fabled clime
where you do penance for a crime,
is worse than losing your last dime
or aging while still in your prime,
wallowing in a barnyard’s grime
or drowning in a tub of lime,
conversing with a white-faced mime
or wading though a sea of slime –
it’s more like missing the sublime
while listening to a numbing chime
for Hell’s a droning monorhyme.

.

[Marion Shore]

Lasciate ogni speranza, yada yada yada....

Condemned to Speccie hell,
will my verse never rise
unto that bright green well
in Speccie paradise?


P.S. I'm outta here. I give up.

[FOsen]

L'enfer, c'est you, c'est me
And just to make us bitchy,
they'll pipe in Lionel Ritchie.
Though levels still more ghastly
are said to play Rick Astley.

Frank

Marion, you can't just walk out of Hell!

[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by FOsen

L'enfer, c'est you, c'est me
And just to make us bitchy,
they'll pipe in Lionel Ritchie.
Though levels still more ghastly
are said to play Rick Astley.

...and as you cross the Styx,
who else but Taylor Hicks?

Bob, that one's for you!

[Marion Shore]

To Frank, Upon His Telling Me I Can't Just Walk Out Of Hell

We know that Dante made it through,
with Virgil at his side.
Who's to say I couldn't too,
if Greenwell were my guide?

[Roger Slater]

HELL

Hell's the fish that got away,
Hell's the ship that won't come in,
Hell's the love who did not stay,
Hell's an evil bastard's grin.

Hell's the ticket that you lost,
Hell's the physical you failed,
Hell's a promise, fingers crossed,
Hell's a ship you missed that sailed.

Hell's the heedlessness of fate,
Hell's the riddle you can't guess,
Hell's the longing you can't sate,
Hell's your enemy's success.

Hell's a heaven you can't use.
Hell's a paradise misplaced.
Hell's the wrong path that you choose.
Hell's a monumental waste.