[John Whitworth]

In the Adjectives Competition Bill Greenwell was top dog and Janet Kenny also in the money. Martin Parker and Melissa Balmain just missed out. Congatulations all round.

We are back to poems at last. Here is this week's.

No. 2611: Holding fourth
You are invited to provide a poem to be recited on the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square (16 lines maximum). Entries to Competition 2611 by midday on 26 August or email lucy@spectator.co.uk

I take it even bloody foreigners know about Trafalgar Square but you may not be sure about the significance of the fourth plinth. As well as Nelson's Column and attendant Lions, Trafalgar Square boasts three other statues, mainly if I remember, of generals and such. There is also a fourth, empty plinth, which has been host over the last few years to temporary modern art works, usually not, I might hazard in the military celebratory mode. The last art work, by the sculptor Anthony Gormley, consists of a large number of people,chosen I don't know how, who appear serially on the plinth for an hour at a time. And this represents... well, don't ask me.

So you b can get up on this fourth plinth and recite your up to sixteen lines on .. well I don't know.. Get to it, Sphereans.

Does anyone know whether Nelson faces the channel? In other words could he see France from where he is, given terrific vision, a large telescope, and no buildings or natural features in between. Similarly, could Napoleon, from his column in Paris.. well you see where I am going..

[Marion Shore]

Geez, I don't get this one at all. I don't even know what a plinth is!
I'm gonna sit this one out.

Congrats to Janet, Martin, Melissa and of course Bill for taking the fiver. (Don't spend it all in one place.)

[John Whitworth]

A plinth is the stone thingy a statue stands on. www.fourthplinth.co.uk will tell you all about it.

[W.F. Lantry]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

Does anyone know whether Nelson faces the channel? In other words could he see France from where he is, given terrific vision, a large telescope, and no buildings or natural features in between. Similarly, could Napoleon, from his column in Paris.. well you see where I am going..

John,

Nelson does indeed face South. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson%...ins_and_design

The other statues may be of questionable taste in the eyes of many former colonials. Americans will not fondly remember George (some unpleasantness involving the burning of the city from which I type), Havelock will not be fondly recalled on the subcontinent, and Sindhis can't be happy about Napier. As for the lions being cast from the materials of the sunken fleet, well, if they sank the ships, didn't they sink the cannons with them? Sounds like further British trickery to me!

But I do like the idea of the Fourth Plinth. Leaves room for something in the future, perhaps even of a different nature. And it gives the pigeons a flat spot to roost!

Thanks,

Bill

[John Whitworth]

Tell me about the Lions. Which sunken fleet?Thanks for the info about Nelson. Well, if you have generals then you're bound to piss some people off. Are there statues to Grant in the USA. And Lee. And all the rest of the bearded crew?

The French don't bother too much because they think it's Napoleon up there. But it ain't, my Gauloises smoking amis, it ain't. Here's a start.

Holding Fourth

Up on his column in Trafalgar Square,
Nelson commands, with naval elegance,
A view from London, England, out to where
The Corsican scowls back from Paris, France.

[Marion Shore]

OK, I get what a plinth is. But what exactly are we supposed to be writing about? The guys up on the other plinths? Someone who should be there? Or shouldn't? Sorry to be so dense. Or is it a cultural thing?

Anyway, I don't know if this fits the bill. But in keeping with the current motif:

Sarah Pallin can see Russia
from Alaska, at a glance.
So who's to say Lord Nelson
can't see Paris France?

[John Whitworth]

I like that a lot. I shouldn't because I'm on the same track, but I do. She says ANYTHING that might be recited from the fourth plinth. Some bloke stood up there naked but they arrested him. What did he say?

A hymn to Boris, perhaps. His predecessor, Ken Livingstone, declared war on the pigeons. Is Boris pro-pigeon? In which case a pigeon might say...

[W.F. Lantry]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

Tell me about the Lions. Which sunken fleet?

Hmm... and this from the guy who castigated me for mocking Kipling!

The lions are actually lots of fun. They were commissioned to one guy, and then, when he didn't deliver, Landseer got the new commission. The reason he got the *sculpture* commission for lions, of course, was that he was famous for *paintings.* Of dogs. Who says the brits have no sense of humor?

Anyway, his work was clearly the inspiration of the widely celebrated "Dogs playing poker" motif so popular in the colonies. Of course, his dogs were not poker players, but lawyers.

I know you think I'm making this up. Well, here you go:
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Note the law books. And the reading glasses. And yes, this work made him a prominent member of the Royal Academy. He was even, at one point, elected President of the Academy. But he couldn't take the position, because by that time his family had had him declared insane. I am *not* making this up!

Anyway, the lions. So, he contracts with the commission. Four lions, for 6,000 lbs. (My durned american keyboard doesn't have a 'pounds' symbol, so take that as read). But they forget to say "bronze lions". So he made one in CLAY. Then he made three copies, moving their paws around a little so they looked different. Then he said "go talk to Baron Marochetti if you want them in Bronze. He can do the casting for you."

The commission, of course, had a fit. But the project was years overdue. So they gave him the 6,000, then they gave Marochetti another 11,000. And finally, they got their lions.

But there was just one problem. Landseer had never actually *seen* a lion in the wild. Yes, he'd been to a local zoo, and he had some models he'd gotten cast in Sicily, but he was really pretty much a dog guy. That's why the backs of the lions actually look like a Newfoundland dog's. The curves of the spines, the haunches, are canine, not leonine. So he was mocked on both ends, before delivery, for tardiness, and after delivery, for the way his dog fetish influenced his world view.

By the way, the battle of Tralfalgar preceded, by some 60 years, the delivery of the lions, so the numerous references you'll find on the web to the bronze coming from the melted down cannons of the defeated fleet are just so much imperialist flummery.

Enough mockery. Here are some of his cute pictures of puppies. Note the imperial overtones:
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That last one looks very like a lion, wouldn't you say?

Thanks,

Bill

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[John Whitworth]

Nope. It looks like a dog. I like the lions. If he'd seen lions in the zoo that would have been enough. The buggers are fat and lazy and they sit about all day while the women do the work so 'in the wild' is abit of a misnomer. Anyway, they are imperial lions. I got all the other stuff from the web but I didn't know about the cannons. Bollocks, as you say. Why would you melt down cannons? When the Brits captured French ships, which was often, they just stuck British flags on them because French ships were the best. It was just the crewing and captaining that was shit. Which General burned down Washington? I thought it was Admiral Cochrane. Isn't there a fine oil painting of that very thing?

Thanks for the info. And Kipling is the goods. Liked America too. And didn't burn any of it down.

[W.F. Lantry]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

Thanks for the info. And Kipling is the goods. Liked America too. And didn't burn any of it down.

Yes, he did like America. And evidently the local girls had a thing for him. He even married one. And he lived here, for a while. It's even said that he wrote the jungle book in, um, Vermont!

He did, in fact, almost burn down Brattleboro. He bought an old wood stove, third hand, and cut holes through the floor for the pipes. Not exactly up to building codes. Even he admitted he was surprised he didn't burn the place down.

As for the popularity of his works here, well, as P.T Barnum supposedly said, "No-one even went broke underestimating the taste of the American people." And old Rudyard certainly didn't die poor!

Thanks,

Bill

(and just for your enjoyment, here's the old guy, in his own voice, mocking France: http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetrya...do?poemId=1691