[Ann Drysdale]

Touchée - though it looks remarkably like a ferret to me...

[Jerome Betts]

Weasels stoats, polecats, ferrets . . . Zorilla apparently comes from Spanish zorro, fox, so 'little fox', just to confuse things.


Am I alone in thinking
Of heroes dead and gone
Like batsman Herbert Hinking
Who coolly kept his lid on
And specialised in dinking
The ball past off or mid on?

Or am I thinking of Federer and co doing little drop shots that just skim the net?

I think this one will fail to trouble the scorer.

[John Whitworth]

I think it has a very good chance if you can get another verse out of it.

They don't make something heroes
Like those of long ago.
Just something something zeros
Like Stevie soandso....

[Jerome Betts]

Thanks, John. I'll have to think or tink about that, as it was just to convince myself that 'dinking' exists, at least in sports commentators' jargon.

Meanwhile a seasonal stab at the challenge, avoiding your rhymes.

Dear Editor, am I alone
In thinking Christmas overblown,
A festival now so extended
Its power to charm has plainly ended?

The ads kick in when leaves are green
Then flash for months from every screen,
Gross, OTT, faux-empathetic,
To make the day itself bathetic.

What brainpower spent on snaring tots
Or grandmas, gluttons, geeks and sots!
Far better swinish influenza
Than tills’ long seasonal cadenza !

So out with salesmen’s bogus Yule,
This winter fraud, this business-tool!
Oh, come back Cromwell, good old Ollie,
And ban all turkeys, mince and holly!

[John Whitworth]

Nice one, feller

[Susan d.S.]

Am I alone in thinking that planet earth is shrinking?
As people grow yet taller, the planet seems much smaller.
We grow heavier and fatter, making space an urgent matter.
Each quarter-second yields a birth; heaps of newborns bloat the earth.
The mega-cities strain and groan, requiring more than can be grown.
As our numbers grow apace, where shall we find saving grace?
In a sea Nautilus encased or in a colony in space?
I honk and curse in yet another queue. I pledge my troth anew--
I make a solemn, binding oath to “Zero Population Growth.”
Although sorry to let go my five young children, and my libido,
The world’s profligacy I shall atone, and in thinking this, am quite alone.

[David Anthony]

Originally Posted by Jerome Betts

Thanks, John. I'll have to think or tink about that, as it was just to convince myself that 'dinking' exists, at least in sports commentators' jargon.

Meanwhile a seasonal stab at the challenge, avoiding your rhymes.

Dear Sir, I cannot be alone
In thinking Christmas overblown;
The season now is so extended
It’s power to charm has plainly ended; .
The ads kick in when leaves are green
To flash for months from every screen,
Gross, OTT, faux-empathetic,
And make the day itself bathetic.
Oh, out with salesmen’s bogus Yule
This winter fraud, this business-tool!
Oh, come back Cromwell, good old Ollie,
To ban all turkeys, mince and holly!

I think this one's along the right lines.
They expect/require Colonel Blimp, I believe.

[peter richards]

Carribean binge skaters goin out tip rinkin(g)
Thank you
You heard it here first

[Roger Slater]

Am I alone in thinking
That the world has gone to pot?
The air we breathe is stinking
And the oceans are too hot?

The polar icecap's shrinking
And the ozone layer's shot?
The water that we're drinking
Carries chemicals and rot?

Oh people, stop your winking!
What I'm asking's not a lot.
Am I alone in thinking
That this world is all we've got?

[John Whitworth]

David, you're right, I'm sure. about what is expected. But the problem is it's almost impossible to be so Blimpish that Speccie readers realise you are joking. Many of them think that David Cameron is a dangerous leftie, a Che Guavera in a suit. Not US of course. Have I spelt that beardy freak right? You see how catching it is.