[Brian Allgar]

Well, I can't say it was much fun - definitely more a drill than an amusement.

And I can't imagine that it's much fun for others to read. Still, I'd had a few drinks when I did it, and ivresse oblige.

Of Man’s first “No I won’t!”, and of the Fruit
Of that “Keep off me” tree, the taste of which
Brought Death to plague the World, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one Man more great
Should mend us, and take back the Seat of bliss,
Sing, Muse of God, that on the well-hid top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst spur on
That Sheep-herd, who first taught the Seed of choice,
At the start of things, how the Sky and Earth
Rose out of naught. Or if Sion Hill
Shoud please thee more, and Siloa’s Brook that flow’d
Fast by the Mouth that speaks for God, I thence
Call forth from thee thy aid for my bold Song,
That with no low or base flight means to soar
O’er the Aonian Mount, while it doth seek
Things no one yet has tried in Prose or Rhyme.

Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit
Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast
Brought Death into the World, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,
Sing Heav'nly Muse, that on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed,
In the Beginning how the Heav'ns and Earth
Rose out of Chaos: Or if Sion Hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa's Brook that flow'd
Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th' Aonian Mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.

[Roger Slater]

Writing in monosyllables is harder in some languages than others. According to Wikepedia, "the phonetic rules of Thai language permits 23,638 possible syllables, compared to, for example, Hawaiian language's 162." I have not yet found how many monosyllabic words there are in English but I suspect that the answer lies somewhere in between.

I wonder how hard it would be to write poems or prose that avoid all monosyllabic words. I suppose the lack of articles and pronouns would slow things down considerably.

[Roger Slater]

To be or not to be? That's what I ask.
Is it more cool in one's head to roll with
The guns and bombs of fate's bad shit
Or to fight back and try to strike them down?
To die? To sleep? That's it. But if we sleep
Does that mean that we end the pain and stop
The hurt of life? If so, that's what we all
Should wish for all our days. To die! To sleep!
But might we then have dreams? Yup, there's the catch!
For in the nap of death, the dreams we have
Once we have let the crap of life go free
Could turn out to be worse crap than we knew.
And that's why life that's long is such a shame.

[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

Writing in monosyllables is harder in some languages than others. According to Wikepedia, "the phonetic rules of Thai language permits 23,638 possible syllables, compared to, for example, Hawaiian language's 162." I have not yet found how many monosyllabic words there are in English but I suspect that the answer lies somewhere in between.

I wonder how hard it would be to write poems or prose that avoid all monosyllabic words. I suppose the lack of articles and pronouns would slow things down considerably.

Roger, that's an intriguing idea. I suppose one might go for a terse (but paradoxically also longwinded!) telegraphic style, simply omitting those commonplace short words.
If your idea too draws interest, may we best begin a separate thread - 'Polysyllabic' (and, as has been suggested, not restrict it to re-writes but invite also fresh material) ?

Meanwhile, you've got me thinking:

Future alternatives: being, non-being? Myself, pondering:
Nobler, perhaps, mindfully suffering
Slingsful - quiversful! - comprising outrageous misfortunes?
Otherwise, maybe arming oneself against selfsame oceanic troubles -
Opposing militantly, thereby ending aforesaid hardships? Dying: sleeping;
Ceasing! Sleeping, supposedly ending
Heartache - also (conceivably) ending thousand shocking natural hazards
Mortal bodies inherit? Consummation
Devoutly desirable! ...

[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Brian Allgar

Well, I can't say it was much fun - definitely more a drill than an amusement.
...
And I can't imagine that it's much fun for others to read... Still, I'd had a few drinks when I did it, and ivresse oblige.

Je regrette... et au contraire! I enjoyed your version, at least!

Good rhythm - while managing to remain still concise in monosyllables (I especially admire your terse clear replacements for 'disobedience' and 'forbidden').

[Graham King]

I've (perhaps rashly) attempted to render Jabberwocky in monosyllables. I made no exceptions but did allow myself hyphenations such as 'snake-like' and 'blood-soaked'.
If brevity is the soul of wit I have failed, as it has ended up more than five times as long as the original; too long to post here!

The first two words " 'Twas brillig" had to expand to " 'Twas time to start to broil for tea" - there being no single-syllable synonym for 'brillig' that I know. Conveying even the word 'sundial' I found a considerable challenge; it is only now that I realise I could have avoided mention of it altogether and just have stuck with 'wabe' for the lawn surrounding it. But I've gone pretty much with Humpty Dumpty's unpacking of Carroll's other portmanteau words. For 'the Jabberwock' itself I have coined 'the Wock that Jabs its Burr', which seems to me in keeping with its anatomy and character.

So far, 'toves' alone I have not rephrased. For how to render lizard or badger in one syllable? (I may now try).
Checking, I have just found the word 'tove' to exist (possibly) outside Carroll, as a Scottish intransitive verb meaning 'to smoke or to emit a smoky smell' (tove, toved, toving, toves). I can fancy a plausible visual/etymological link: from a curl of smoke spiralling upwards to the corkscrewing snouts, tails and movements of the toves - as described by Carroll and illustrated by Tenniel.

[Brian Allgar]

Graham, I didn't mean to be as dismissive as perhaps I sounded.

But fundamentally, it's an exercise that, while it stretches the brain to find ways of transforming the polysyllabic into the monosyllabic, can only diminish the original; and - for me, the killer - without creating anything worthwhile in its own right (as for instance a parody might do).

Still, I'm glad you liked the two replacements that you mention. I must admit, I thought them quite snappy myself.

[Graham King]

Originally Posted by Brian Allgar

Graham, I didn't mean to be as dismissive as perhaps I sounded.

But fundamentally, it's an exercise that, while it stretches the brain to find ways of transforming the polysyllabic into the monosyllabic, can only diminish the original; and - for me, the killer - without creating anything worthwhile in its own right (as for instance a parody might do).

Still, I'm glad you liked the two replacements that you mention. I must admit, I thought them quite snappy myself.

No problem, Brian! - certainly no offence taken. I took your comment as being delivered with a wry grimace rather than a snarl! No-one need try unless they want to
I realise the likely output may tend to be more a novelty item than a thing of transcendent beauty; on the other hand, some of the versions produced by contributors here do seem notable expressions. To me all poetry is play, and words are like Lego or Meccano; the challenge (drill/amusement!) of putting into monosyllables akin to that of a crossword puzzle.

Chacun à son goût!

[Chris O'Carroll]

Nice work on Hamlet's soliloquy, Roger. Your second line is more cool in one's head than mine. But isn't your third line a foot short?

[Roger Slater]

Yeah, I may need to put "and slings" into it. In moving to monosyllables, I figured I shouldn't just automatically take the monosyllables that Shakespeare used in the original but modernize the language just a bit so long as I was messing with it. (But it doesn't really matter, since it will never appear anywhere outside this thread).