[Rob Stuart]

Surely a picky pedant is a truism?

Now I am pedant of the week.

[Jayne Osborn]

Last minute, desperate attempt:

They said, “It’s an original.”
Like hell it was. I paid
damn close to… No, I dare not say,
you’ll think I’m daft. The dress,
slinky, backless, strapless, black,
(kinky in a way!)
yet classy at the same time, made
every single fella
(AND the married ones!) all gawp.
Problems started, I’m afraid,
due to HER superb parade,
entering in …yes, that’s right
- the dress I wore.
Extreme du-ress!
Someone said, “Come on girls, Fight.”
(Turned out an expensive night!)

[Brian Allgar]

Good one, Jayne,
even if it doesn’t rhyme
except in places.
(Still, this bit of tosh doesn’t even scan -
no! I can’t believe I’m perpetrating
ghastly vers libre at my time of life. Aaargh!
Horror! Shame!) But
to return to your piece, it looks as if,
famous for missing them, this time you beat the deadline - N.B.
but only by the skin of your teeth.

[Jayne Osborn]

Thanks Brian.
Now, can I carry on with the chain reaction thing, I ask?
Keeping to a proper rhyme scheme was hard with my entry,
yet it was a kind of 'chain reaction' story, I consoled myself.
For once, I sent it in time, though I'm not hopeful of success at all.
Lucy has lots of other good 'uns to choose from.
Mind you, it's better than nothing -- mayB,
but maybe not. OK, so I cheated...
...do I care?

[Graham King]

Jayne, My compliments on your dress sense and little black poem. All the best for the comp!

But, re your more recent ditty...

Originally Posted by Jayne Osborn

Thanks Brian.
Now, can I carry on with the chain reaction thing, I ask?
Keeping to a proper rhyme scheme was hard with my entry,
yet it was a kind of 'chain reaction' story, I consoled myself.
For once, I sent it in time, though I'm not hopeful of success at all.
Lucy has lots of other good 'uns to choose from.
Mind you, it's better than nothing -- mayB,
but maybe not. OK, so I cheated...
...do I care?

Jayne, O Jayne,
Exemplar stoic!
‘Cheated’?
Dreaded word echoic!
Can it be?
Eye, shall it see,
Enmired in textspeak ploy,
Your poem?
May I not implore you,
Undo
Obloquy
You’d bring upon you-
Urgently renounce your crime,
Edit that verse one more time:
End Line Seven... Eight, begin it...
Truly this time? Do, this minute!

[Jayne Osborn]

Graham,
My goodness!
Since I saw your response
every fibre of my being is filled with remorse,
especially as I said I didn't care at all!
Let me correct the situation right away.
Yes, I will rewrite the end of my post to Brian,
not cheating this time (if I can help it).

Mind you, it's better than nothing -- well, may bea,
although then again, may bea not.

To hell with it!
Too much trouble so I cheated again.
Not even managed to make it rhyme, either.
Really, I must be losing my touch.

[Brian Allgar]

Jayne, I think the new version is better than nothing - well, maybe ...
err ... then again, maybe not.