[Richard G]

Hi Jim,
lots of fun (dark mid-winter/lands of hinter, fantastic with its almost echo of Rossetti) though I think it ran away from you in places (heed of need of dress!)

S1 seems a little flat, do you really need it? Similarly S3 isn't making much of a contribution to the narrative. (Reads a bit like a plea for sympathy where none is needed.) If you did decide to cut these, perhaps then look at starting the 'Babel's hydrant' verse with She (She pulls me cross the street to ... ?)

I struggle with S4/L4, and S5 hydrant/silenced gives one pause, as does S6 leash's end.
S7, got lost on her tale cannot.


RG.