[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Richard—

Originally Posted by Richard G

I changed S3L3 to make the meaning clearer.
I think it rather achieves the opposite.
Perhaps there's a compromise?
She was “BBD—billed before delivery."
“INS —(an) inspection will determine"
I mark her file “LSS—long, sad story."
I think this is a good suggestion.

No sure about fighting (it's an improvement, but I still think there may be better ... and perhaps 'grandmother' for older woman? Something to put just a little flesh on the bones. Similarly, woman and angry man.)
I would have preferred to lose the adjectives altogether, but I couldn’t come up with nouns that alone captured the characters of these people. I tried instead to use more specific adjectives like “surly” instead of “angry” to focus on the man’s demeanor rather than his presumed emotional state.

In my small way, I glimpse how God must feel,
Again, better ... but, perhaps phrased as a question? "Oftimes I wonder if this is how God feels"
I want to be a little presumptious here.

I'm not sure that priest is doing enough in L1, there aren't really any confessions in the poem (and do they answer in the same way that Solomon did, and that people expect God to?) Perhaps a mundane detail about where this takes place?
In the reference to confession, I had in mind the reasons people often give for not paying their bill, like the grandmother.

RG.

Thanks for coming back, Richard. You are really helping me think through this piece.

Glenn