[Alessio Boni]

Hi Glenn,

I had no idea what a troubadour poem was, so thank you for the information!

I'll try give a summarized definition of what S1 is,

Spurn as a noun can mean an act of rejection, and in the case of V1, it would be "I've said too much to try oppose your acts of rejection" (rejection of the narrator's will), and then the subsequent verse with "aback" would be the narrator's fear of digressing further because it might lead to his love putting him to the back of her interests, her mind, and he's weary of the times because he spent them there usually. This is also shown in S3L4. Therefore, as if resigned to just live out his fate, he lays his head metaphorically on her "charnel" lap to signify, as an adjective, sepulchral, and then be dragged on as occurs further in the poem. The adjective related to his wish for death, seeking to find it in his grim fate of being tied to her with an eventual rest coming per his wish. His bones will remain with her. Your proposed correction would cancel the meaning above although I can see mine being largely unclear.

S2L3: Should I change it to "And as a fish by specks of joy is beguiled" though it would give an extra syllable without place? By joy I just meant the feeling of instant pleasure a fish has when finding food, a lover's initial minute happiness. For "fruit", I completely agree with you, "Glittering Fly" is a great correction and more logical.

S3L1: The perennial stay is the continuous dragging of the narrator's self wherever the toxic lover goes, and thus, the narrator being forced to be a constant and inseverable presence in their lover's life, mirroring the metaphor of the fish being dragged by the hook.

S4 is just the description of his state throughout life "loveless, lifeless sea" being continuously dragged by his lover, and never being granted, at least until this piece was logically recited or written, his wish of death, when fish, on the other hand, are allowed to have such since they are eventually pulled off the hook and killed.

I will change the Alexandrines to pentameters, I had some unspecific and incorrect notion of the Spenserian Stanza in mind.

Yes, "Strook" also needs to be corrected as that's just plain wrong, (when I wrote that stanza I was hellbent on the fourth verse and probably overlooked it) and by the travelling of states, I meant the mental states of the lover dragging.

I hope I was clear in my explanation, if there isn't anything clear let me know!

Thanks for the comment,

Alessio.