[Simon Hunt]

Hi Richard--Thanks for coming back with further helpful comments! I'm still thinking about using the hammer's name. I think the child who created the image likely would not know that word, but he probably wouldn't know ornate or tunic either, so that's neither here nor there...

Hi Matt--I'm glad this one grew on you, fungus-like. I really appreciate both your account of its overall trajectory and your suggestions about a number of specific instances. As you'll see (if you care to), I have adopted several of them (sometimes slightly altered) in the revision above. Thank you very much!


(Revision posted above, though not a hugely ambitious one)

[Richard G]

Hi Simon,

so that's neither here nor there...
Isn't N an adult? (And using an adult's language?)

By the way, to what does the 'too' (L9) refer?

Just a thought

No, they grow from his own skull ...

RG.

[Simon Hunt]

Thanks again, Richard. I really appreciate your ongoing attention here.

Right, N is an adult. That's why I'm still thinking about mjolnir.

In line 9 too=the eyes are circles like the round belly.

I'll think about simplifying"No, look again" to "No". I deleted "own" from that line, however, per Matt, because who else's skull would it be? Mine? Yours? Matt's?