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01-20-2007, 06:08 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 3,745
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Ha! #3 is definitely my favorite.
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01-21-2007, 09:28 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,724
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Someday, when there's no more land,
and no more cemeteries planned,
someone rich might ask to buy
this plot so he'll have room to die.
Oh progeny, heed my advice!
Hold out for an ample price!
Don't fear you will disturb my rest
to take from me one last bequest.
So long as there's sufficient cash,
it's just as restful to be ash.
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02-14-2007, 04:19 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 608
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If You're Looking For Me
"There's a grave waiting for you," they said,
"If it turns out that you'll end up dead."
So, if you're standing there,
Looking for me somewhere,
Look below. I'll be resting my head.
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02-16-2007, 08:55 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,724
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Infant Grave
Just as life
had gotten started
I became
the dear departed.
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02-22-2007, 09:48 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
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By leg and breast, you might have guessed,
she climbed the social strata;
but at Heaven’s Gates, a Peter mandates
she’s persona, there, non grata.
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02-27-2007, 12:51 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,724
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Heaven's Gate
is gold and pearly.
I got here late
but died too early.
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02-27-2007, 02:05 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
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Nice one, Roger.
But how about:
Heaven's Gate
is gold and pearly.
I got here late
but left too early
Can I use this when I croak? I'll put it in my will...
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02-27-2007, 02:07 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
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revision:
Anna Nicole
By leg and breast, you might have guessed,
she climbed the social strata;
at Heaven’s Gates, God's Peter mandates
she’s persona, there, non grata.
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03-01-2007, 02:55 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 608
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This one we buried very deep,
The way we do each loathsome creep,
Right next to hell. May Satan keep
Him busy while we get some sleep.
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03-02-2007, 07:38 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,724
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EPITAPH
I'm buried here, forever dead.
It wasn't what I would have chosen.
I told them, "Just chop off my head
and leave it in the freezer, frozen,
"until some day the folks in tech
can whip a body up from scratch
in perfect health from feet to neck,
with just a head left to attach."
They said, "But that could take an eon!
We must insist you first pre-pay
the bill for power and for freon."
I am not rich, there was no way,
and so beneath this stone you'll find
not just the body that betrayed me
but the skull in which I kept my mind,
returned to the factory that made me.
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