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03-05-2025, 07:44 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: York
Posts: 846
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Hilarly Biehl, Autmn Sky
Hilary has a poem " Icarus at the amusement park" in to-day's Autumn Sky. Killer last line.
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03-05-2025, 10:05 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 10,407
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Excellent poem, Hilary.
Susan
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03-05-2025, 02:14 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 8,665
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Wow. The last two lines are fantastic. I also enjoyed the "something's gone wrong" effect of the slant-rhyming between stanzas. Kudos, Hilary!
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03-05-2025, 02:38 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2024
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 236
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Thank you Joe, and Susan and Julie!
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03-05-2025, 05:31 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2024
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 702
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Fine work, Hilary.
Glenn
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03-06-2025, 12:13 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Taipei
Posts: 2,724
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Terrific, Hilary. “rib by rib” is an amazing moment, and so is that closing line. The whole poem is striking—love it. Congratulations!
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03-06-2025, 04:36 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2024
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 236
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Thank you, Glenn and James.
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03-07-2025, 02:10 AM
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Member
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: England, UK
Posts: 5,336
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Congrats Hilary!
Great poem. The amusement park metaphor works really well, and what a close!
Matt
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03-07-2025, 11:36 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 9,113
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Wonderful. Congrats!
RM
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