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Old Today, 11:45 AM
Max Goodman Max Goodman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
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I echo others' praise for this.

My quibble: line 4 isn't as clear as it might be. Is it the leaves of the berries or the berries themselves that dream along with the fig leaves? Either way, "leaves of figs and berries" isn't a clear picture for me since most berries don't grow on trees, so I see two different things. Is it possible that the mulberry, which grows on trees, is what Amade meant by le mûrier? In any case, removing "All around us" might give the extra space needed for a revision, if you want to revise the line.

FWIW.
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